1956
Mary
2023
Mary Helene Frattaroli
August 28, 1956 — March 11, 2023
Harrison Township
On the sunny morning of March 11, 2023, under rainbows cast by crystals in her window and
surrounded by family, Mary Frattaroli passed away peacefully in her home at the age of 66.
Mary was born in Detroit on August 28, 1956, and spent her childhood in Roseville and Harrison
Township, Michigan. She attended L’Anse Creuse High School and graduated as part of the
class of 1975. With her first husband, she moved to Rosamond, California on the high Mojave
Desert and lived there for fifteen years, where she cultivated her cooking and gardening skills,
raised her four children, and made lifelong friends.
In 1990, she returned to Michigan with her family and lived the rest of her life there, meeting the
love of her life Tom in 1998 and marrying him in 2006. Tom and Mary formed an inseparable
bond, spending 25 years in a passionate, tender, and equal partnership that remained
unbreakable even through her illness.
It is impossible to try and define a woman who spent the majority of her life successfully defying
definition. Mary had no shortage of people in life lining up to tell her who she was, and it is a
struggle to put words to a woman who was beyond them. Words are not enough to articulate
her wittiness, her tender heart, her strength and wisdom.
If Mary was asked to put herself in words, she would start by describing herself as a mother.
Above everything, Mary was devoted to her children. Mary taught her children the meaning of
unconditional love through her actions. She always had their backs, even if she had to gently
smack some sense into them. To her kids, Mary was a safety net, a sounding board, and their
biggest fan in the whole world. They will miss her unconditional support, her life advice (wanted
or otherwise), and how no matter what was happening her kids knew that they could go to her
with a life problem and work together to find a solution. What will be missed most of all is her
hugs and kisses–and the way she’d light up with a glowing smile the moment one of her
children entered the room.
In every aspect of her life, Mary was an inspiration to others physically, emotionally, and
spiritually. She was a speaker of truths, some challenging and full of tough love, that showed
she cared and loved her friends and family for who they truly were. Mary knew how to deliver a
serious punch of great advice–and then break the tension with a witty remark.
Creative and curious, Mary collected books, recipes, and great advice. She was an artist at
heart, dabbling in painting, drawing, sewing, and always looked to learn more. Every hobby
allowed her to think outside the box and showcase her innovative approach to everything she
touched.
In the kitchen, Mary had an intellectual and intuitive gift with sauce, spice, and flavor, finding joy
in improving recipes and sharing them with others. When people found out she was cooking for
a party, attendance jumped—the energy put into cooking can always be tasted, so she always
cooked with love.
On sunny, summer days, Mary flexed her green thumb in the garden designing, building, and
planting beautiful beds of flowers, vegetables, moss, and berries. After a long day of work, her
favorite thing to do was get into the water with a cool dip in the pool or a long, hot soak in the
bath.
Many adventures took Mary from the California desert to the highlands of Scotland, from her
childhood swimming in Lake St. Clair to floating in the Atlantic Ocean past where her toes could
touch. Her home away from home was the family cabin, which Mary filled with the savory scent
of cooking and the warm echo of her laughter.
In early 2021, Mary was diagnosed with late stage Triple-Negative Breast Cancer. She and her
doctors approached the disease like a puzzle to solve, an adversary to defeat. Throughout two
years of surgery, chemotherapy, and despite complications, Mary showed inspiring strength,
resilience, and optimism. Even at the end, she charmed the EMTs and hospice nurses with her
warmth and easy nature.
She summoned courage to gather the beautiful family she created to say goodbye, comfortable
and proud that what she leaves behind is strong and built on a foundation of love. Mary had
ears to hear the cracks in our voices, and a heart to fill in the empty spaces. Anyone who knew
her knows she could stop a fire simply by asking why it burned. By listening closely, we know
she is asking the same of us.
Mary's absence will be felt in every gathering, every meal, and every time solid advice is
needed. It will be felt in the first plunge into cold lake water and the peace that comes floating
and staring at the sky. It will be felt in the rainbows she loved so much, the rainbows that
reflected on her hospice bed and eased her passing into a place without pain.
Mary was greeted in the afterlife by her parents, Anthony Krolikowski and Geraldine Miller, and
her sisters Christine and Deborah. She is dearly missed by her husband Thomas Frattaroli;
children Katherine (Ben) Skelton, Brian (Kelsey) Skelton, Morgana (Kyle) Skelton, and Sandra
(John) Skelton; grandchildren Aerial, Alaina, Tristan, Cora, and Aurora; Siblings Charlene
Bocaccio, Anthony (Denise) Krolikowski, John (Cathy) Krolikowski, and Geraldine (Brian)
Abdoo; many adoring nieces and nephews, and an ever-increasing number of grand nieces and
nephews.
There will not be traditional funeral services. The family is planning a life celebration in the late
summer of 2023. In lieu of flowers, friends and family are invited to contribute to her children for
a purchase of a memorial tree at Lake St. Clair Metropark.
Alternately, donations in Mary’s name can be made to organizations that support native plants
and biodiversity, such as Native Seeds SEARCH (https://www.nativeseeds.org/) or the
Wildflowers Association of Michigan (https://wildflowersmich.org/).
To order memorial trees in memory of Mary Helene Frattaroli, please visit our tree store.
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